Many of the politicians had sports related alibis, including the President himself, who claimed he had injured his elbow shooting hoops. The Speaker admitted he "tweaked a hammy" sprinting to the microphone following the President's speech although one staffer sheepishly admitted that the Speaker had originally injured the hamstring trying to "distance himself" from the Tea Party conservatives earlier in the week.
The Majority Whip claimed he injured his elbow trying to "scratch an itch" on the middle of his back. This alibi enjoyed bi-partisan support as politicians from both parties released statements claiming to have injured themselves trying to scratch an itch on their respective backs.
Caucasian House Spokesman, Jay Cornhole, confronted a skeptical press corps on this subject. "None of the injuries were severe, fortunately, and we believe this is another good sign that both sides can come together and form a consensus."