"Never Let a Good Crisis Go to Waste" Runs for Mayor

Rahm Schlekt, native son of Chicago and former White House advisor extraordinaire, is running for Mayor of Chicago. Rahm has built a sterling reputation for using crises as an excuse to expand government power at the expense of productive people in American Society. Regulators and other bureaucrats who produce nothing and specialize in telling productive citizens how they are to go about their business and how they are to live and die in a compliant fashion, are simply ecstatic about the news. Ron Medler, a lifetime bureaucrat who has served his government masters well in numerous state and federal regulator roles over the years looks forward to leaving Washington to head back to sweet home Chicago. "Wherever Rahm goes new regulation flows," crooned Medler who accidentally drooled on himself during the interview. "Imagine the possibilities with Rahm as Mayor of a City with the central command and control political infrastructure already in place! This is a perfect microcosm in which we can work and really build an empire for the people!"

Medler cited some classic examples of Rahm's work in which a crisis, sometimes real and sometimes manufactured, resulted in an expansion of government power into the lives of every day people. "While the drilling moratorium after the Gulf Oil Spill put an enormous number of American petroleum workers out of work, business was booming for us regulators and our lawyer friends... and not to mention our friend and benefactor Jorge Greedos and his foreign off-shore drilling interests. Boy did he throw one hell of party for us in DC before it was all said and done! Rahm always told us, 'never let a good crisis go to waste!' What a leader!"

Medler went on to credit his Government Master for having the ability to gin up a crisis even when there was not one by any objective measure. "The Health Care Deform law is his masterpiece! I mean take a look at our health care system before it was passed-- people with no means had Medicaid; seniors had Medicare; and people use to fly in from all over the world to have advanced procedures done; a majority of the world's new medicine and procedures were developed here! And we took the whole thing down in one fell swoop! We took the whole thing down with a 10,000 page document that a majority of legislators didn't even read! Rahm used to call our legislators his 'useful idiots'. Boy, he wasn't kidding was he?"

When Medler was asked if he considered himself to be one of Rahm's most useful idiots he became emotional. "Why... yes... Yes I am. Yes I am," Medler said, brushing away a tear.