Nero Rosins Up His Fiddle

In times like these one should never underestimate the need to unwind... to rosin up the fiddle, load the kids up in Air Force Fun and head over to Chicago for Memorial Day Weekend. Really, it is a perfect time to send your second-- his Native American name is "He -Who-Often-Needs-To-Remove-Foot-From-Mouth"-- to take care of such tiresome ceremonies like laying a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and playing breakfast host to grieving families whose loved ones paid the ultimate price for protecting the freedom of a wide range of American Ingrates, most of whom have no idea why they don't have to go to work on Monday. Far be it to let such things as the greatest ecologic disaster of the modern era; impending war in Korea; economic chaos in Europe; or the sucking chest wound otherwise known as our southern border to crimp your style.

Now is the time to shoot hoops with a cross dressing, sometimes biting sports journalist and to squeeze in a Paul McCartney concert before you start addressing nagging questions like: "What is your plan to address the never ending oil spill?" or "Does it make sense to send in a boy to do a man's job on the border?" or "Who is lying... you or the guy who beat the Dead-Man-Walking (otherwise known as the Crypt Keeper on Friday Fright Night)?". You see that is exactly what "holidays" are made for... to decompress from such pesky ordeals, to rosin up the fiddle, maybe catch a flick, or better yet, just pretend for a few days that everything is going to be alright. Maybe, if this was a "holiday", it would not be a big deal. But last I checked, there is no caroling on Memorial Day, this is a solemn day of remembrance, a time to reflect, a time to grieve, a time, just maybe... to pay Respect.