National Prussian Radio Fires Journalist for Admitting He Has An Irrational Fear of Mimes

Spokeswoman for tax payer supported National Prussian Radio, Olga Von Phallisenvy, announced today that the news organization terminated the contract of their only journalist of any substance whatsoever, for admitting that he has an irrational fear of "openly practicing" mimes.

"It just freaks me out," the journalist commented while on a rival news network with an actual viewership that extends beyond friends and relatives. "I find them totally creepy and feel particularly threatened by them in confined spaces like airplanes... they also seem to innately sense my discomfort and have a tendency to direct their miming activities toward me. I know there are good, devout mimes out there but I still get a little panicked anytime I see one."

Ms. Phallisenvy cited that the disgraced journalist violated journalistic ethics by subjecting the audience to an opinion that a majority of NPR viewers did not share. "Juan Veritas no longer meets the standards of our organization. His comments were bigoted and targeted an oppressed minority unable to verbally defend themselves from his hate speech."

In a touching show of solidarity, John Wierdow, PhD and Professor Emeritus from the Harvard School of Mimes, attended the press conference with Ms. Phallysenvy. When asked if he had a response to Juan Veritas comments the mime had nothing to say, offering only a rather sheepish one-fingered salute.