Republicants and Demonicrats Host Bi-Partisan Pillowfight

In a rare show of political unity, incoming Republicant speaker John-Boy Bohner (pronounced BO-NUR) and outgoing Demonicrat speaker Nona Pazza agreed to host the first annual, bi-partisan changing of the guard pillow fight.

"Before the gavel exchanged hands, we thought it might be fun to get in a few shots on our way out," stated a positively glowing outgoing speaker. "We just ask that our Republicant colleagues allow us to take the first shot."

"This is a way for us to show the American people that we are not afraid to get together with our Demonicrat colleagues and have some good ol' fashion fun," commented a rather freshly bronzed Bohner.

The ceremony started in grand, if somewhat solemn manner, as the stoic faced Republicants marched in step on their way to face their Demonicrat colleagues, most of whom had been seen taking pillow "batting practice" in the days before the ceremony. However, a few Demonicrats were penalized for a false start penalty, after pegging their Republicant colleagues before the conclusion of the Star Spangled Banner. Order was restored and the Demonicrats were penalized an additional 5 seats in the House. The Republicants were soundly whalloped on cue after the pledge of allegiance but the Demonicrats opted to "go for it" on fourth down, taking advantage of a woozy opponent. The outgoing speaker faked handing the gavel over to a dumbfounded Bohnur and scampered down the main aisle, escorted by a rather burly crew of Progressive Democrats who had cleared a path by mowing down conservative Demonicrats and Republicants along the way. Fortunately the day was saved for the Republicants when the outgoing speaker slipped on a discarded copy of the Constitution that had been lying inconspicuouly in the middle of the aisle. The outgoing Speaker lost control of the gavel on her way down, fumbling away the gavel before her knee touched the ground. This provided the only opening the madly pursuing Republicants needed and they recovered the gavel.

The Republicants were so enthralled with their new found toy that they completely forgot about returning the favor to their Demonicrat colleagues. Bohner wasted no time and quickly found a crew of Washington political paparazzi. The new Speaker managed to strike a Heisman pose with the oversized gavel and flashed his pearly whites. An aid later admitted that the new Speaker had been practicing the pose in between tanning sessions after the November elections.

"We almost pulled it off," commented a resigned but proud outgoing Speaker. "You know, it wasn't the Republicants who stopped us... those clowns could screw up a wet dream. Really, we had it made if it wasn't for that damn Constitution. The damn Constitution. I mean, what the hell is a copy of the Constitution doing in the Halls of Congress?!"