Of Debt Ceilings and National Imbecilic Health Research

Caucasian House Spokesman, Jay Cornhole, warned that any further delays in a debt ceiling increase might threaten important programs underway in health and human services. Cornhole cited that many important studies being conducted by the National Imbecilic Health Research Institute would be at risk of being defunded if an agreement was not reached soon.

"The Institute is nearing conclusion on a ground breaking study with lesbian dolphins and we are waiting with breath abated on the results of 90 million dollars worth of research given to the Chinese on a parasite that affects water buffalos in Asia."

When asked how such research would benefit American citizens Cornhole became irritated, "Parasites are an international problem which affect Americans too... and besides... we owe them a lot of money. I mean a lot of money. And we're going to owe them a lot more after the debt ceiling is raised. Now, do you see why this is important?"