Thursday, February 10, 2011

Of Quantitative Sleazing and Greased Pigs

The White House announced today that creating money out of thin air will buy them time to figure out what to do with the economy. "Rather than addressing the behaviors that created this crisis we thought it made more sense politically to play a little kick the can," commented Chairman of the Dred, Ben Piedpiper. "The quickest way to pick up exports and shrink your debt is to fire up the printing press and devalue your currency."

When asked if such a move could spark inflation, the unflappable and exquisitely bearded Piedpiper would only comment that his team was "keeping an eye on the situation".
To celebrate the occasion the White House hosted the First Annual Quantitative Sleazing Party which opened with a ceremonial call from the Chairman of the Dred: "Gentlemen, start your printing presses!" Festivities included bi-partisan games of Kick the Can and Catch the Greased Pig, both of which involved Republicants chasing the can which was always gleefully kicked further down the road by Demonicrats who were being cheered on by the Ogres of Health Care Deform and other Unfunded Liabilities. The Greased Pig's name was Inflation and it became clear that he was uncatchable once released from the pin. Both the Republicants and Demonicrats gave up immediately and began blaming one another (but only when there was a camera around).

Happily, Inflation was finally returned unharmed to her pen by a nefarious crew of political outsiders. They called themselves the Budget Slashers and claimed to be armed only with common sense and backed by the Gold Standard.

No comments:

Post a Comment