"The President thinks that the American consumer does not know what is good for them or fair. So it is in their best interest for the president to mandate fairness on the airways in the same spirit that he has mandated health care. Just like Health Care Deform, unelected bureaucrats will be in charge of what is "fair" and "balanced," commented Heebahobba.
When asked about the name of the new regulation the new Press Secretary laughed and said, "We were going to package this initiative with the First Lady's anti-obesity campaign and call it the 'Shut up Conservatives and Eat Your Vegetables Campaign' but opted instead for the 'We Say What's Fair Doctrine'.
In the tradition of his predecessor, Heebahobba found himself to be the only one laughing at his joke. "Come on, now," he offered, nervously clearing his throat, "We knew that name wouldn't be very palatable... so we changed it to Fairness. Okay? Everyone wants to be fair right?"